April 20, 2009 at 5:16 pm 5 comments

Someone asked how I’m doing so I wanted to post an update since it has been a little while.

In a word, I’m struggling. Emotionally, weight wise, everything. I’m eating crap, I know. I just don’t really care. Well, I do care. But I don’t know if I am even capable of getting back into this weight loss thing. My head has to be in the game and it just isn’t. There are so many reasons for me to keep losing, not the least of which is so I can be healthier to attempt another pregnancy. I also know that my sweet baby girl wouldn’t want to be the reason her mommy falls apart like this.

I just don’t know how to do it. I don’t know how to lift myself up and find the strength. Sometimes I wish I was one of those people that can’t eat when they are depressed. Instead, I am the complete opposite. I eat everything, I crave junk, I have no off switch.

Please keep praying for me. Send me some words of wisdom. Something.

I go to the surgeon for my post-op on my gallbladder and I do not even want to see the look on his face when he sees that I’ve gained since I last saw him. 😦 I’m so ashamed.


Entry filed under: family, medical, surgery, weight loss.

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5 Comments Add your own

  • 1. favorite  |  April 20, 2009 at 7:15 pm

    dont be ashamed for being human and having feelings. but you said in your blog yourself you have so much to want to get healthier for. you have 2 children that you want to be able to keep up with and you want to attempt another pregnancy. you are looking ahead and at the good. i dont know too many people who lost as much weight as you as fast. plan your meals and snacks ahead. when you want junk have good junk as i call it. like soy chips instead of potato chips or a special k protein bar instead of a candy bar. just keep on trying and you will succeed. take it a day at a time.

  • 2. karli  |  April 21, 2009 at 1:01 am

    oh honey, be gentle with yourself! you’ve been through hell, still going through it, of COURSE you’re going to have a period of not taking care of yourself optimally. (((hugs)))

  • 3. Barbara  |  April 21, 2009 at 8:13 am

    Jaime, you have been such an inspiration to me. Before I had the band implanted I looked to your posts for encouragement and now I would like to say something that will encourage you. I know it can’t be easy to lose a child but as the previous post says you have two other children that need their mother to be healthy for them, to see them grow and prosper. We all know what being overweight can lead to all the health ramifications that obese people must endure. Please try taking one day at a time and try being on program one day at a time. It isn’t easy and you should not be ashamed because you have been through so much. The spring is here a time for a new beginning, get outside and enjoy the nicer weather and tell yourself you need to do this for you and for your family. May God Bless you and bring you some peace. Barbara

  • 4. Melissa  |  April 22, 2009 at 1:15 am

    I will pray for you.

  • 5. Diz  |  May 2, 2009 at 9:48 pm

    Jaime, believe in yourself like we all do. Allow yourself to have bad days because the next day will be brighter. All three of your children need you…need you to be strong, healthy. And your husband needs you desperately. Take it one moment at a time.

    We are here for you Jaime. We’re not leaving. We are listening. We are praying for you and your family.


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Surgery date: 2.28.08
Highest weight: 350 lbs
Surgery weight: 339 lbs
Current weight: 262 lbs
Goal weight: 175 lbs
April 2009
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